I have worn contacts for years. Many years. One script for my left, one for my right, and both with Astigmatism. Yay. I can see without them, though it is not always pleasant. Things can be a bit blurry – and my stomach can feel a bit nauseous due to the unclear vision.
Now, if you have read my blog on coincidences, then you know that I don’t believe in them at all. There is no such thing. The world is so much bigger than us. SO MUCH BIGGER. And if we could look at it through a microscope, we would likely see an intricate pattern of events that happen just as God intended them to. With those moments we feel are coincidences? Those are just moments He is letting us know he is there. Sometimes we miss them, sometimes we don’t.
In my case? This is one I missed years ago — and it hit me this morning as I had just finished brushing my teeth. Weird, right? I know! So, keep reading.
I brushed my teeth, put the cap back on the toothpaste, and then reached for my new boxes of contacts. Such a good feeling – those new contacts. My anticipation was up as I was trying to read the small print on the end of each box (without contacts) to try to determine which one is for which eye. Side note – anyone know why they’d make that writing so small? Just seems wrong.
Anyways, as I found the contact for my left eye, I went ahead and put it in. Fressssshhhh. Ahhhhh.
Then, it hit me. As I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, image slightly distorted because one eye was clear and focused and the other couldn’t quite get a grip…. I was transported back all those years ago (June 18, 2014 to be exact) when we had received the call about my dad being in the hospital – and the prognosis not being good – I was packing a bag with eyes full of tears.
I packed everything I needed. Then I remember, Oh, my contacts! Tina handed me two boxes of contacts. My response? Nah, I just need one. So, following my request, she handed me one box. I threw it in my bag and zipped it up.
As I arrived in West Palm Beach, my mind was solely on my dad – and my mom. Not on my vision. Needless to say, I was fine that first day with the contacts I came in. But, the next day? Well, as I had thrown the contacts I was wearing away, I was a bit disappointed that I had only brought contacts for one eye with me. What was I thinking?! I clearly wasn’t.
Have you ever needed contacts for both eyes, but tried wearing just one? For me, it just doesn’t work well at all. The world seems completely distorted and, truthfully, it makes me feel like I am going to be sick. To avoid all of this, I decided it would be best to not wear contacts at all.
In my mind, I thought – but I don’t want to miss the slightest bit of the few moments I have left with the only man in the world who holds my heart. The more rational side of me knew I wouldn’t feel good — and I needed to feel well and be in my best possible mental space for everything we were enduring.
This all only lasted for a few days because Tina was awesome enough to send me the 2nd box of miracle vision. So, I never really gave much thought about this situation since that moment.
Until this morning.
Since there is no such thing as coincidences. And, such I should have known better than to make the decision I did while packing, I wonder if this was God’s way of keeping me from seeing my dad so clearly in that hospital bed?
He was dying. He was with hospice and there was a 10 day span from the time he had his attack to the time he took his last breath. It was brutal and so difficult to go through.
If I had the proper contacts, I would have seen it clearly. Without them, I may have missed something – and the visions of my father in my head are not of him lying in the hospital bed, but rather every other memory throughout the years. The healthy dad I knew.
Maybe? I know, sometimes we try to make God moments out of nothing. We reach for things just to have something to hold on to. But, this is one I had never thought of and it hit me like a ton of bricks this morning.
To me, now I can clearly see (yes, pun intended) that it was intentional. God is always there, always looking out.
Until next time… ❤❤